Alan Gurman

Madison-On Friday, September 6, 2013, Dr. Alan S. Gurman, age 68, passed away unexpectedly. His heart let him down, and broke all of our hearts in the process. The staff at University Hospital tried to save him as his wife, Gerri, held his hand and gave him her love till the very end. His legacy will live on all over the world in so many different ways - as a father, husband, grandpa, coach, psychotherapist, scholar, teacher, mentor and friend.

After a forty year career as a University of Wisconsin Professor of Psychiatry, he continued to teach and mentor graduate students at the Family Institute of Northwestern University, the University of Wisconsin Psychology Clinic, and as a visiting lecturer at Cambridge Hospital of Harvard University. His scholarly contributions to the fields of Family and Couples Therapy, achievements and awards were so plentiful that it would be impossible to list even a fraction of them without buying out the entire newspaper. More important than any publications were the relationships he developed - Al was a devoted mentor to many generations of students, willing to go to any lengths to support them both personally and professionally.

We will always remember his wavy hair, prominent mustache, bellowing laugh, constant one-liners and wonderful hugs. He cherished Boston, his enduring high school friendships with his club members, the Aardvarks, Cape Cod, pens, the color purple, yoga, fumbling with his iPhone, writing, parenting, grand parenting, teaching, gardening (particularly hydrangeas), Dar Williams and other folk legends. Al always marched to the beat of his own drum, challenging authority whenever he was so compelled. His warmth and "joie de vivre", as he would probably say, were unmatched. In the few months preceding his passing, he became best buddies with his grandson Benny, whom he loved deeply.

In almost every sense, he went out on top. He loved his work, his garden, and his time with family. In this challenging time, it's difficult not to think about the many more years of joy, new adventures and happiness we could have shared with him, but instead, we will try to appreciate the wonderful life he had and the opportunity we had to be with him. Gerri will savor the deepening of our love and understanding that was growing exponentially. We will miss him forever.

If you'd like to make a donation in his honor, please send a check to one of the following organizations, the The Lussier Community Education Center, 55 South Gammon Road, Madison, WI 53705; DAIS, P.O. Box 1761, Madison, WI 53711; or NAMI Dane County Inc., 2059 Atwood Avenue, Madison, WI 53704. He would be happy to know that people in our community, including children, family members in abusive relationships, and families dealing with mental illness are being supported in his honor.

He is survived by his Madison relatives; wife, Gerri, sons, Jesse and Ted, daughter-in-law, Tory, grandson, Benny, and mother-in-law, Miriam and his brother, Lewis, sister and brother-in-law, Toni and Terry, and nieces, Maggie Lou and Margaret and nephew, Jack, all who loved him so much and were grateful for him. His life will be celebrated in a private gathering of family, friends, students and colleagues.