Barbara Berger

Barbara Berger, aged 90, died unexpectedly on August 3, 2024, in Madison, Wisconsin, in the home she had shared for 30 years with her recently deceased husband. She is survived by her brothers Charles Decker (Carol) of Sedona, Arizona; Herbert Decker (Dru) of Henderson, Nevada; Thomas Wilkinson (Bobbie) of Hamilton, Virginia; sister-in-law Terri Wilkinson (widow of brother Peter Wilkinson) of Dublin, Ohio; four children: Michael Berger (Andrea) of Cincinnati, Ohio; Susan Berger (Tom Asch) of Chicago, Illinois; Deborah Berger of Monona, Wisconsin; Laura Gallagher (Brett Paufler) of Wonder Lake, Illinois; Dan Cole, former son-in-law, of Lodi, Wisconsin; and Sean Gallagher, former son-in-law, of Arlington Heights, Illinois; as well as six grandchildren: Alexander and Helen Berger, William and Grace Gallagher, and Hannah and Sophie Cole. She was preceded in death by her husband David Berger, parents Milton and Doris Decker, stepmother Isabel Decker, brother Peter Wilkinson, and grandson Abraham Cole.

Barbara was born May 25, 1934, in Birmingham, Alabama. She was an Honor Society graduate of Bellows High School in Mamaroneck, New York, and studied for two years at Cornell University and one year at Wheelock College, preparing to become a kindergarten music teacher. During the summer of 1953, while working at the Crossman Hotel, in Alexandria Bay, New York, she met David Berger, of Great Neck, New York, then a soldier on leave. She was 19, he was 24. They fell in love the night they met and knew they wanted to get married. But they faced resistance from both families. Barbara’s parents and younger brothers pressed her to wait; she was too young, they urged. It would be a mixed marriage—David was Jewish and she was Episcopalian. At the end of the resistance campaign, in the spring of 1954, her father asked her, “What are you going to do this summer?” She replied, “We’re getting married in June.” And that was that. David and Barbara’s union has been held up as a model of a happy marriage in both families, as the doubters became strong friends of their marriage.

After a year studying in Boston, Barbara and David moved to Caracas, Venezuela, for David’s first job out of Harvard Business School. Their children Michael and Susan were born there. After three years, the growing family moved back to the United States, settling in Park Forest, Illinois, where two more children were born, Deborah and Laura. After raising their family, they moved to Madison to spend their retirement years and to be closer to their cabin on Lucy Lake in Lac du Flambeau, Wisconsin. Barbara’s grandchildren’s fond memories of her include many visits to Lucy Lake.

Music, reading and intellectual curiosity were prominent threads in Barbara’s life. She played the piano since the age of 8. In high school, she was the go-to piano player accompanying several choral and drama groups and dance classes. In Park Forest, Barbara took piano lessons from Art Hodes, the famed jazz pianist. In Madison, she played in two bands, the Swingin Seven and the Retro Swing Band. Her piano playing as a volunteer at UW Hospital filled the large atrium space, delighting many passersby and hospital employees. She also sang in a Madison choir, and with the Chansonettes in Park Forest.

Among her many accomplishments, Barbara was the diving champion at the Park Forest Aquacenter and chairwoman of several committees promoting community projects, including the development of Freedom Hall, an entertainment and public affairs venue. She also ran a Junior Great Books program in the Park Forest public schools. When she pitched the program to a school principal, he inquired, “So then you ask the children what they feel about the reading?” She replied, “No, we ask them what they think.” In Madison, Barbara and David relished taking UW PLATO courses and joined a Great Books Foundation discussion group, developing good friends in these activities. Barbara also made deep friendships with women in her morning exercise group over a period of 20 years.

Her children were blessed with much music in the house growing up, both jazz and folk records and Barbara’s own piano playing. Bessie Smith and Billie Holiday were the soundtrack of their lives and the accompaniment to her chores. Barbara’s collection of sixteen fakebooks of American Songbook standards, heavily annotated with her arrangements, include such songs as “How Deep Is the Ocean,” “Just in Time,” and “Take Five.” She played from these for hours, much to the delight of all who heard her, especially David, who in retirement joyfully cooked their meals to the sound of Barbara’s playing. After David’s death, Barbara continued playing the piano beautifully and vigorously until the end. The songbook left on her piano was opened to “I’ve Got You Under My Skin.”

Barbara was musical, calm and sweet. She loved to laugh. Everywhere she went she made close friends. She was also witty and full of gumption. While on a family outing to the zoo, a monkey reached through the cage and snatched her daughter’s yellow purse. Quick as lightning, Barbara reached through the bars and grabbed it right back. Likewise, she was quick to rush to her children’s aid, doggedly researching and advocating to overcome their troubles. She was a loving mother and grandmother, ready with a supportive ear and kind advice. Whether at Lucy Lake or in her home in Madison, she often played on the floor with her grandchildren, schooling them in pick-up sticks and jacks. She and David enjoyed a deeply fulfilling 70-year marriage, a love affair, full of laughter, music and conversation. Recently, at a restaurant, the man at the next table turned to them and said, “I don’t mean any disrespect, but my friend and I overheard your conversation and saw your smiles. We hope we can be as happy in later life as you are.” An acquaintance told David, “Barbara Berger’s your wife? You did well. She’s a terrific woman!”

Barbara’s sudden death was a shock and she is greatly missed, but her family and friends enjoyed the honor and benefit of being in the life of this extraordinary woman and will be comforted by many memories of her. A celebration of Barbara’s life will be held at a future date. Memorial gifts in lieu of flowers may be given to the National Association of Music Educators at nafme.org/donate or to the Great Books Foundation at www.greatbooks.org/give-now/.

 Cress Funeral Home

3610 Speedway Road

Madison, WI 53705

(608) 238-3434