Margaret Cates

Margaret (Marnie) Lessig Cates, 85, died surrounded by family Tuesday evening, July 9, in Madison after an extended siege by Alzheimer's. Although the last years stripped her of herself, she lives in all of us who were lucky enough to feel - and float on - her powerful love and joy. She was a woman guided by passion, who dove into her life and had little patience for those who didn't. She knew right from wrong, and taught her five children, their spouses, and her grandchildren how to live with decency, kindness, strength, and courage.
Marnie loved opera and sang in many. She sang in various choirs, tap danced with friends, and music was always playing in her home. She liked to talk about what she cared about, what you cared about, what you were doing, and how you were feeling. She was always true. She was the real thing. She cared about justice and fairness in the world, and the happiness of the people around her. We have missed her these last few years, and we will miss her for the rest of our lives.
Born in Harrisburg, PA, on August 3, 1927, she grew up the oldest of three children in a stable and loving home in the Philadelphia suburbs. What she learned there about family, about her own self worth, and about the possibilities of beauty and truth, she carried her entire life.
She graduated from Lower Merion High School and studied music for two years at Hollins College in Virginia, then returned home to graduate in sociology from the University of Pennsylvania.
In June of 1950, she came to summer school at the University of Wisconsin, and--as the story goes--one hot day she sat sunbathing on a Lake Mendota pier. Richard Cates swam by. He must have stopped. He must have looked up. Lucky him. Lucky us. By the end of the summer they'd fallen in love. They married the following February.
Marnie worked at Oscar Meyer until Dick finished law school, then they moved to North Carolina for a year, where he'd been recalled by the Marines. There she gave birth to the first of her five children.
The following year they returned to Madison, settled in Nakoma and then in Orchard Ridge, and dug in for the wild ride. She was a fun person. She loved the sun, swimming, dogs--many dogs--and politics. She always said she loved being pregnant, loved having children--and even if it probably wasn't always true, given the array of weird antics her children often displayed--it was a gift she gave us, that good will, that happy marvel at her own fortune.
She worked as a poll watcher for decades; she volunteered at Meriter Hospital, worked at the Wisconsin Bar Center, served on the Madison Opera Board and with the Dane County Legal Auxiliary. She helped give receptions for new lawyers and for newly naturalized citizens, and for a short time worked at the Legal Services Center. She liked all of those things. But as she once wrote, "Most of all, I had the joy of singing."
She sang in the choir at the Orchard Ridge United Church of Christ, and with Just Us Singers at the farmers market. She sang in the Madison Symphony Chorus, and with the Madison and Sacramento Opera choruses. She sang in Aida, in Carmen, Amahl and the Night Visitors, Turandot, La Boheme, La Traviata, Caravelleria Rusticana, Pagliacci, Tosca, The Merry Widow, Madam Butterfly, The Marriage of Figaro, Die Fledermouse, Carousel, and Don Giovanni.
And she tap danced, too, for many years, with group of women called The Tap Dance Kids.
She is preceded in her death by her husband, Richard Cates, Sr., by her parents, Lester L. Lessig and Katherine Keen Lessig, and by a grandson, Peter Cates. She is survived by brother Jack (Pat) Lessig of Hilton Head, SC, and by her sister, Mary (Sam) Sieger of Lancaster, PA, and by her children, Richard, Jr. (Kim) of Spring Green, John (Meg) of Madison, David (Rosalie) of Missoula, MT, Christine (John) Jendrzejewski of Louisville, KY, and Robert (Linda) Cates of Monroe, and by her grandchildren, Lucas Cates, Shannon Bloom, Kelly Cates, Anna Cates, Boone Cates, Eric Cates, Jennifer Arcuri, Jessica Arcuri, Charlie Cates, Margaret Cates, Tony Cates, Kelsey Jendrzejewski, Miranda Cates, Christy Jendrzejewski, Mary Cates, Carly Cates, and Rock Cates, and by great grandchildren Adelyn Gee and Xavier Briscoe.
Her memorial service will be held at 1:30 p.m. on Sunday, July 14 at the Orchard Ridge United Church of Christ, 1501 Gilbert Road, Madison.